Monday, March 14, 2016

Lost in life

How do we get lost in life?
What do I mean with this? What is getting lost? 
It’s when you just go on day after day, without minding the important things, trapped in the routine. 
This might sound a bit tragic, but it’s what happens when your daily schedule is just to full and stressful and you can’t manage to stop thinking about work even on your free time.


One thing we read everyday and don't even know about it. Road signs. Without these signs we more than likely couldn't get around town and know where we are going. I have been lost before driving in unfamiliar places and these road signs helped me out a lot.:
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How did it start?
For about three years I was unemployed. It’s something that might sound incredible to most people that don’t live in Italy. Is it really possible that you can’t find at least a Mac Donald’s that would hire you??? Yes, it is. 

To many people’s disbelief, I tried everything in these 3 years; due to my being already 29-30 years old and due to Italian taxes, laws etc, the only job I got for about 9 months was through an agency. Unstable on-call-shifts, dangerous places in the worst neighborhoods, crazy customers, constant calls on my private phone number on my free-time…shitty pay.
But I learnt a lot not only from the job, but also from many people that I have met and worked with.


Three years is a lot, it’s three years with almost no money, feeling useless and being home and quite alone-being my friends all at work or doing things I couldn’t afford to do. The silver lining in this was I started beading seriously and dedicated all my time to crafting. But I was quite depressed and in the end even beading or knitting didn’t give me so much joy anymore.
After this and after using all my money for a course that was quite useless, after the last work-for-free-job-offers, I finally found the courage to start a German course and move to Austria.

Now, to be clear: my German is still terribly elementary, I had to attend courses for months before being able to have a proper conversation with my roommate, and I still can’t understand the local dialect (which is the main form of communication here); but a few months after moving I got a job and now, 18 months after starting it, I got my second promotion to Trainee Manager.


I think I like who I am becoming. #quote:
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Despite feeling terribly proud of myself, I also feel quite stressed from all that I have to learn and the fear of doing something wrong is always there: I have to run a department, make orders, organize employees, often taking care of the entire floor. Private life is quite hard working every week on different shifts, being these shifts never the same of your friends J

And, as it happens all the time: once you finally have the money to indulge yourself with anything, you don’t have any more time.
I feel often I waste most of my free time just browsing the internet with no purpose, just unconsciously looking for something that inspires me enough. Sometimes I start some projects or get really excited on something, then after a while I just drop it – not enough time, other priorities, blablabla…

I recently started to get an interest in Journaling and planners and I am still trying to figure out what and how and if I should give it a try.

Does making lists really help? Would you really look at them? Isn’t it a bit counterproductive to actually bring in your private life the stressing organization of the job-life? Shouldn’t your free time be more spontaneous and plan-free?

kate spade:
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What I noticed is that, looking at other people’s journals, this methods can be a nice reminder of what is really important for you, which goals you have, which dreams you can actually pursue.

I found myself making a list of what I really want to achieve and learn in the next years and realize that, with a little bit of organization and, sure, of consistency, I could have already done most of them.

 :
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Plus...isn't this digital life frustrating at times???
To have the possibilities of taking millions of instant pictures, just to never really look at them...
Isn't there more then just selfies after a travel: all the little things that happen and were funny, just got lost in your brain cause all you do is taking fotos with your phone...
So many little sweet things that could make every day a celebration of life, just get lost cause we don't want to spend 5 minutes recording it somewhere else than instagram or facebook...
This is why I would like to give a try to travel journaling and bullet journaling; we will see in some weeks how long will my commitment last :) .

4 comments:

  1. Dear Syl, thinking about you I always see brave, courageous, beautiful young woman!Happy , inspiring travels!

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    1. Thank you, my dear! It's a long travel, but I am finally making it :)

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  2. I am sure it's of no comfort that many people feel the same way - I do :) Stressful job, yes, but I'm lucky to have it, I feel like a squeezed lemon end of the day and sometimes am not in the mood for crafting and waste a lot of time on the internet. Lists do not help me, I'm not an organized person. Life has been hard on you but you're keeping your head up, at least that's what I see. Want to try journaling? Do it - it may become a welcome stress reliever, even if it does not last long but you shouldn't bother about it from the beginning. And - congratulations on your promotion!!!

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    1. Thanks Rozantia!!! Yeah, the squeezed lemon image really depicts me as well...but I am happy there is always something new to learn everyday, so a good kind of stress. We will see if journaling will help

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